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i used to be a really smart kid who was “going places” but now i just cry a lot and eat all the food in the fridge

(via sengasaurus)


occupation: struggling tumblr comedian

(Source: pujuu, via toodopetoexist)




ive seen things 

how many things?


(via effinmustache)


One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.

(via tyrabanksofficial)




why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong

its because you are worth at least 10 camels and they just cant afford you

this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me

(via be-what-you-are77)

  • Doctors: Anorexia is an epidemic, people need to eat.
  • Doctors: Obesity is an epidemic, people eat too much.
  • Society: People have unhealthy body images, accept your body the way it is!
  • Society: People should be more concerend about their health, exercise & eat right!
  • Media: Celebrities are way too skinny, they are setting a bad example for young girls.
  • Media: This singer gained 20 pounds, she must be really unhappy.
  • People: Being too skinny is gross, real women have curves.
  • People: Eww, fat rolls.
  • Friends: You're so pretty, you're not fat.
  • Friends: Eww I'm so gross, I need to lose weight.
  • Family: Don't starve yourself, eat. It's not that hard.
  • Family: You ate all of this for breakfast? What is wrong with you?
  • And people wonder why we have such distorted body images.


people whose tagged/me is made entirely of sassy posts instead of actual selfies


(Source: miifighter, via tyrabanksofficial)